I started losing friends because I dug myself in a dark tunnel. I didn’t want to affect my friends with the issues I was facing, so I shut all of them out.

I started posting on my social media accounts like everything was okay with positive captions and still encouraging others through my mess. I was hoping no one could see behind the false identity I was portraying.

I started trying to get to know this NEW me and dating myself .

I begin making a new friend (ME)

I took myself out on dates weekly and wrote down things I loved about myself

I started writing consistently about who I was and daily affirmations about who I wanted to become

This self healing journey was such a relief but I was still missing something……

I was missing my friends. I started reaching out to some of my closest friends that I once had and we just kind of caught up where we left off, things were a bit awkward for me but they understood. I never fully addressed what I had experienced with anyone until this BLOG.

Has someone ever tried to warn you about something but you didn’t want to listen? ….. & turns out they were right ! …….But you don’t want to hear the …..(I TRIED TO TELL YOU)

That was me !

I had a few warnings . People would tell me “girl, something just isn’t right” , or The random person comes to you and says I can see your pain, please walk away before you get hurt .

I ignored every warning. The warnings from him were a bit obvious.

•Selfish •Controlling •Arrogant •Manipulative •

He got joy out of seeing the pain in my eyes and I should’ve known then . He would Mock me, or take everything I ever told him in confidence and use against me in every way possible.

The warning signs were there , I just was too BLIND to see 🚨 I kept hoping that it was something that I was doing that made him this way , so I could change myself and he would be different.

self-im·age/ˈˌself ˈimij/noun

1. the idea one has of one’s abilities, appearance, and personality

I haven’t always seen myself the way that I should. What I mean is my 👑 crown hasn’t always sat up straight. I haven’t always felt loved , I haven’t felt beautiful but just because I didn’t feel those things didn’t mean I WASN’T loved, beautiful or a Queen !

My eyes were blinded by the ugliness laid in front of me & my ears were muffled from the constant negative sounds that entered on many occasions , I had adjusted to those things that I had heard over and over and the thoughts that It may be true.

I had lost all confidence & wasn’t just from a past relationship my confidence had been long gone I just felt like I needed a validation from someone other than myself.

I constantly tried to encourage myself that ((I WAS/I AM )) more than what I see in the mirror.

I started to take sticky notes 📝 and place them all over my mirror written with encouraging words. There’s a saying if you say something repeatedly you start to believe it and words are LIFE. You speak them and you give them life . So I spoke those encouraging words daily and reminded myself that “I AM “